Training is where your life happens!

i can actually track back my own progress and the evolution of how i think about training. i am writing this because i so often step back from just looking for the next workout or excerise and get back to the PRINCIPALS behind why we excerise in the first place.

Training is not about Instant gratification. anyone looking for constant progress wont stick with training for long. The essence of training is the experience and what you learn about yourself while doing it.

Training is about process, not the outcome!

If your always caught up looking for progress, upward movement, or even in marital arts a new belt colour, you`ll be missing the most important lessons that are right there in front of you.

you`ll get there and theres one simple thing you need to do it is consistency!

When it comes to your physical training or marital arts or anything i mean anything!, you have decided to purse it wholeheartedly in your life, you should remember the same answer as Thomas edison:

"Theres no real destination, no end and certainly no merit for gratification."
( i fine these words so powerful,so moving inspirational indeed)

If your consistent it demonstrates that you have two very important Characterisitics( looks up google to speel that correctly):

Discipline
perseverance.

with these two attributes you cant be stopped from anything that you are seeking to achieve.

without htem you`ll never reah any goal that you`ve set for yourself. think about your own goals and what you`re working toward.

have you been staying consistent toward your goals?
have you been patient and do you always look for the lessons behind the frustration you may be experiencing?
have you attempted to be better at what you do each day more than the day before? have you been pressing too hard and thinking that you shud be fitter or have a belt by now or a certain mark?
well if you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to take the pressure of yourself and enjoy the ride.

like omg the carriot cake i ate today yum yum yum

remember the tighter you hold a handful of diamonds trying not to spill them, the more you lose.
loosen your grip on yourself and you`ll be amazed at the progress you may start to make.

Jujitsu time!

i`ve been around jujitsu and the marital arts for a long time,

so many friends and cilents etc as me why i am not a higher rank in jujitsu

the answer is revealed!

i may have been around it for a long time, but i havent been practicing it as much as i should. because of this, im content with my skill however if i decide that i want a back belt, i would have to be realistic about making the commitment to consistency.

but i am content with my skill like my idols greatest sayin:

"a blackbelt only covers 2 inches of your ass, you cover need to cover the rest"

truth is i am a cagefighter, fitness freak, nutritionlist and personal trainer and background in martial arts i may be all these things be say i am but truth is

i am Paul McGinley and that title suits me fine.

heres one of the most powerful statements that i tell my cilents.

where you are in life is excactly where you`re supposed to be because of the things that you`ve done up untill that moment in time. to do anything else butt accept your current situation would be crazy.

the real thing to do iis to decide where you want to go and then use both consistency and patience to get there.

enjoy the ride/ it is after all the path you`ve chosen in life!

i hope this inspires people to get back in track toward there goals may it be fitness/music or art any of that i hope this blogspot helps.

this is to my dearest of friends, as i start my new hourney with God i hope this inspires you as it has on my journey:

every journey sarts with one step, and all the steps after that are equally important.

for me : each workout every piece of food i put in my mouth, every breath i take they will all add up.

in the end you`ll see that there are no little things.

Now get back on the path and get to work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thoughts on productivity!

"be Content, went little"



The new era we in (digital communication) we`re busier than ever. Yet in all our sound and fury, we seem to have no time for:








Whats important

Focus

For thinking





To find focus we need to rethink the need for productivity, just look at our cultures obsession with productivity: with the need for hard work and working long hours to get things done with the need to be busy all the time!

Juggling countless projects, accomplishing more and more...

But What for?

Whats the point of all that obsession? it leads to:

Burnout
stress
anxiety
unhappiness
greed
confusion

and no time for family, friends and most of all yourself

yes yourself,
I repeat this because this is one i am still accomplishing, trial and error if you will.

now i ask you what would you happen if we threw all that out the door? what if we said "i want to get the important things done, the rest can go to. . . . . pardon my french Hell.

Lets create a new way of thinking, take this hourney with me, a creed if you will.
Here goes:

Simplicitiy
purpose
focus
silence and joy

lets make beautiful and usefull things and love it.
Let our deep connection with another be seen to that special someone and take that leap of faith and rejoice!

With this new creed of productivity we can adopt some new principals.

the principals i said and are going to propose are inspired by books and people i have read and seen from personal beliefs and philosophy to peoples feelings.

all this has deeply imformed my life
( mind body and soul no joke dont laugh )

I end this post with a few quotes and sayings, while my head ever wonders in a void of knowlege, if you understand what i just said lol

Be content eith what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
when you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.

If you realize that you have enough, you are truely rich.

when there is no desire all things are at peace

Because he/she has no goal in mind, everything he/she does suceeds

( these are just quotes i like and i know there argueable)

My Love

i have taken to the urge of poem writing tonight , so this is to a special someone, who really always makes me smile, and really comes in to my life at the moments in life i am feeling my worst,

i talked to a friend a while ago about something i said however i use it as a quote cause i was thinking of someone who really makes me smile, and my heart skip a heart or two hehehe :)

"what keeps me sane is knowing that there is beauty in the world and the people that i see"Paul McGinley i made that :D

Any who

Poem time I LOVE YOU

Your love is what keeps me going,

My heart beating, my blood flowing.

the precious words a yearn to hear,

losing you is one thing i fear.

i have faith in God will bring us near.

to me you gave me faith in thee,

together we can conquer all,

just keep our heads up and stand tall.

many others care deeply for you,

but i am in love with you.

i pray to god night by night,

talking about you,that if you knew

without you i cant be.

your in my heart, were never apart.

i feel our souls were latched from the very start......

-----------------------------------------------------

i really cant right poems but htis is a start. i hope you like it in some way of how i feel for thee, lol there i go again getting in to my poems again hehehhe!!!!!!!!!

My religion

so i been feeling down throughout the weeks and some serious stuff happen to me this weekend whats made me a bit sad, but after a great time at church and in the company of friends, i picked myself up, there kindness there smiles and wonderfulness i felt at ease. SANTUARY!!! :D

well anyway i have did some thinking and i can say about what i have learned about religion and God is Kindness.

some words got to me today and i mean really, even though the conversation was on women, but when Alan scott got up and said "god welcomes everyone and outcasts, there are no outcasts in Gods kingdom everyone is welcomed" it wasnt said excactly like that but you get the picture this really gave me a sense of security.

anywho

back to the point why i am writing this blog and it is , what is my religion?

My religion is kindness :D yes thats how i see myself in religion:)

time i come to reality, only time i feel good is church and helping others, is this my curse always being caring who knows :)

KINDNESS

Can guide interaction you have with others, can guide your life work, give meaning to you life ( i feel it everyday), what you eat and even your love life and social life,

Kindness can guide in eveything, all else will melt away if we let go and only have love for each other and one another. ( i try my best)

maybe i should let people be kind to me and help me instead of me just fighting with my struggles and he;ping others ( even commit myself to someone i cant get of my mine), who knows maybe its about time i accept the hand of help from another or the hand of love :)

SO ANYWAY Religion:

Golden rule "treat others as you`d want to be treated"

when we react to others with anger or meanness or even feel that way towards ourselves, you are putting yourself in a bad mindset and feel horrible for a hour, this hour can kill you, yes kill you maybe not physically, but spiritually. ( well thats how i feel it does)

when this happens i feel empty, abandoned a void that needs filling, i have found religion and God is the hand ready to grasp mines to forgive all and fix/comfort my worries, to make me feel at one again to restore my body mind and very soul.

a friend sent this to me that made my mood at ease it really is beautiful....

"When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust him fully and let go, only one or two things will happen, either he`ll catch you when you fall, or he`ll teach how to fly"

to me this tells me one thing no matter what happens in life he will always be there for you no matter what , i feel better knowing this, i really am starting to feel religion is the answer, i know i have only being going for two weeks now , but i have never felt this way or happier in my life.

as promised every week i will put up at least one blog :)

i leave this blog saying one last thing

"Wherever there is a human being there is a opportunity for kindness"

Hopefully i have to kindess to repay God next week and put my hand in the air and commit to God fully..

Thanks for reading

i know know my problems will come back soon but least for now i am at ease.

Suffering: fighting with myself

Hello,

It has been a while since i have written a blog, but i have been fighting with myself for a while so i think what my title is best way to describe what has been happening with myself,

But! as a great saying "Every set back, is a oportunity waiting" i feel what i have gone threw and still is a good way to comfort others or help in any way a tall.

So with out any drama hear goes:

To give comfort and knowing your not alone,

We all go through despair,Doubt, Frustration, insecurity and every other feeling you could think of.

Time will heal the heart - what a interesting saying but if you think back in your past when you were feeling down and lonely you eventually did move on.

do you remember your first break up, you felt like hell but let this strengthen yourself, because you can get through it and you did!

there is a hidden lesson to learn very hard, something i still cant explain but you feel you know there is.

I cant stress enough dont let problems get to you, fall outs or betrayal,

A person today said theres a battle going on inside ourselves i do belive that everyday with me, maybe for others its every so often etc. BUT WE ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!

We need to strengthen ourselves by UNVERSIAL LOVE

what do i mean about this, this is what i took from a great talk, that comes from the heart not my mind .

hear here it is:

"Give love when you fell theres nothing in you to give and give people the benefit of the doubt"

Yes i never talked to people cause i let stupidty and what my friends told me about someone get to me.

so i am now saying dont let others live your life, chose for yourself life is SO SHORT and its your LIFE!!!!!!!!!

im proud to say i have grown stronger in the last 6 months than in my life than i have ever in my life.

But by doing this critizism has came my way and the feeling of lonelyness

BUT I SEE THE REAL PICTURE, if you look at great great people from Michael jordon to Henry Ford, to artists to musicans they were alone no one belived in them, but look at them now they succeeded through hardship and neglect.

So a feeling of lonelyness is the right path, Even Jesus was alone no one believed in his ways if he gave up, there wouldnt be great great people that inspired others.

This feeling is like what the guy said today in a great speech, DO YOU REALLY WANT IT DO YOU!!!!!!

ask your self do you went to succeed in something do you, pay the price reap the rewards

Law of attraction i belived, that led me to great people, beautiful wonderful people, inspirational that my Heart skips a beat.

Now religion, i ran from it i acted a prick and as being falsy led by leeting other people i let go control me and poison my mind.

i entered the vineyard today and you know what i have said many a times there are people in this world that are Briliant and to put it in easier terms peopl who see life differently. i Have never been a holy man but when i walked into the vineyard by GOD not only did i fine a few great people but a pack or colony. SO inspiring so passionate such a strong feeling of safety , kind of like when you were born crying and had no security but your mum like that.

i am a sinner But i am now a beliver, i know people will read this and go omg another regilous nut, i dont care i am speaking the truth and i do not care being judged.

"Be Critised For the small things in life or the big things"

If life has gone sour on you, cherish your experiences and release you have an exciting new path ahead of you.

opportunities come to those who open themselves and those who see choices in al situations, particular the challenging onee.

Most great people are made/born by trial and error - i can say i am still learning.

SO instead of playing the victim, listen to your inner self, chose to change cause only you can change yourself! - I promise you your personal growth will skyrocket!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is a balance in the universe, each negative experience there is a postive outcome within it.

SO I OPEN MY HEART TO EVERYTHING LET PEOPLE>FRIENDS>EXPERICENCES>HARD SHiPS AND FINALLY A NEW ONE GOD GUIDE AND PROTECT ME AND HELP ME THROUGH MY TRIAL AND ERRORS

i release now that my most challenging life problems and more to come i wouldnt trade any of them for anything as they are what will make me stronger and a better person and eventually a great guy.

I am still fighting with myself on terms i cant explain i dont know why i just cant trust in someone.

so there is some saddness in what i talk about, but i feel good sharing this blog wherever you are or decide to read this

i really thank you for taking the time for reading this

Also thanks for being patient for reading this i suffer from a type of dyselix, so my grammar and words are hard to read and understand.

:) thank you

Essence of understanding (my belief)

understanding a sense of feeling a higher meaning, how can i describe this high energy and postive feels that seems to be shining on me and others that is un-explainable.

some say many things from beliefs to religions i say listen to this and reflect:

this is the way i feel this inner feeling this searching......

poem time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Self is everywhere, shining forth from all beings,
vaster than the vast, subtler than the subtle,
unreachable, yet nearer than breath, than heartbeat.
Eye cannot see it, ear cannot hear it nor tongue
utter it; only in deep absorption can the mind,
grown pure and silent, merge with the formless truth.
He who finds it free: he has elf:
He has solved the great riddle; the heart if forever at peace.
Whole, He enters Whole, His personal self
Returns to its raiant, intimate, deathless source.
As rivers lose name and form when they dissapear
into the sea, the sage leaves behind all traces
When he disappears into the light. Perceiving the truth,
He becomes the truth; he passees betond all suffering,
Beyond death;all the Knots of his heart are loosed

most beautiful poem i think ever written on love!

one of the most beautiful poems i think that has ever been made on love, yes i have soft spot but it really drives you with passion and full of joy, a inner and greater feeling :D

here it is :)

How do i love thee? let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
my soul can reach,when feeling out of sight
For ends of Being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of everydays`s
most quiet need, by the sun and candle light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhoods`s faith.
I love thee with a love i seem to lose
With my lost saints- I love thee with the breadth,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!
I shall love thee better after death.

:D

LOVE!!!!

As you all may know or assume there is a bit of mystery in me, but ah well i think its time to share a poem, what what! i like poetry yep yep :D

before i continue this poem has given me a great source of joy and passion and above all INSPIRATION! and maybe away i kinda think, so i will share it, because it would be greedy of me to keep such a beautiful poem on love,

enjoy


Love casts out of fear.
It covers a multitude of sins.
It is absolutely invincible.
There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer;
No disease that enough love will not heal;
No door that enough love will not open;
No gulf that enough love wil not bridge;
no wall that enough love will not throw down;
no sin that enough love will not redeem.
It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble,
Howhopeless the outlook,
How muddled the tangle, how great the mistake.
A sufficient realization of love will disolve it all.
If only you could love enough, you would be happiest and the most powerful being in the world.

Slave to my own emotions (love)

Are you happy Paul.......

Been asked his quite a few times so i think its time i answer this

Yes... (screams inside AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
puts on a smile (fake) with all these things i do is the perfect cover up as i am a happy guy sure all these things i do is wonderful and exciting. i agree they are.

But like everyone they always see the outside all the time!

lets begin unlocking my emotions

what i am feeling?

lower self esteem, poor self image,broken spirited, demoralalization(dont know what that is but sure i am feeling it), anger, resentment, self doubt and ah whole host of emotions waiting to kill me.

i have been given Destructive criticism my whole life and i mean that!
parents,family,friends, best friends, people teachers and LOVE.

what i am now is a reflection on whatyou could you say of a scorned cub!

yes scorned cub,

in better terms dont scorn a young cub as one day he make become a Furcious wolf/beast

is this getting a idea of what i am trying to say lets continue!

ok i deny to compliment myself on my physical being why? cause i dont have a ego and my outside is like a storey from the inner me to the outter, i push myself to defend myself to kill myself, to find the most pain and put myself through all it to kill of emotions and be one step ahead of pain, this is a reflection of my physical self, it says more than that , it shows hardships i have been put through and how i manfiest all these emotions and use them as weapon on myself.

i train for pain, because eventually it becomes what i have lacked my whole life "love", yeah yeah you can say what a whiner , and i shall say the same to you only seeing your view but you wouldnt see views of others, because as long as you destroy people and put them down and care for yourself you are happy.

i laugh at all yous i really do.

my physical wellbeing has more stories but there is another blog for another time for that.

"life greatest threat is fear"

yes i agree, but i use my physically wellbeing to kill fear, no i am not sounding macho, many people use other ways, painting, talking with friends, me i bottle it up and kill it.

but somehow it always seems to come back... and i fight on

how can i make others happy or love others if i do not love myself or like myself i am a wreck!

opposite of love is self esteem or self love,

the more you like yourself the less you fear failure and rejection, the more willing you are to take risks.

my dominant thoughts and aspirations of love are gone

i have dramatically and psychology been affected by love , yes you can say grow up or your to young to be like that but like my parents and like others yet again you wont take me seriously, pure and simple you use comfort zones to reject what you hear cause you dont want to know as a act of selflessness, me talkng about my emotions isnt selfness it is me showing excactly how i feel.

when i meet someone new i am more a good friend than anything i dont want to date or have a relationship why? not because i dont like you or your not hot enough , its just me , i dont love myself so i could never love others why cant you understand that, i dont want ot go into a relationship and hurt others becuse of my effects,

thi can describe the way i am is the photo on this blog, look at it its basically me wondering and searching for repairment, maybe in the next few weeks or months who knows , i just want others to understand the way i am and dont get angry at it , cause thats all i have been given critizism my whole life and it just creates more character in me so in a way your helping me, be the best i have ever been

i dont want a hug or compassion i just want everyone to undertsand, why i pick a s quiet exisistance but a huge spirit of events i do , why spend times will dead weight i will only spend time with postive people.



so when people think i am emotionaless you are very wrong indeed.....

"i am willing to change, but many others arent i accept that of them not of me"

my view on love fucked up isnt it

Mistakes and confusion

Mistakes are part of life. it requires fighting impulse after impulse, hear is two slip ups that will happen to me and most likely you to dont get frustrated, its all part of the process(life).

losing sight of dreams and falling into the dreaded most feared things ever "walking dead" what do i mean by this , working 5-6 days a week and what to show for it a weekend out with the mates and get drunk and waste your money? or buying things that at the time will make you happy and later in life wont use. yeah have fun rest of your life with that, remember one thing whenever you feel yourself falling into this trap, i have to work like this everyone does ( medicore sociey disease, catchy i know)everyone does it, but many get stuck and never get out and settle for 2nd best. so i tell you now dont let it happen, think of your passion and break this disease society has created.

one i am still learning and improving on ignoring the social rewards of life. surround yourself with smiling, postive people who have absolutely nothing to do with work,stresses of life, create a quiet life but do not live your life alone,

happiness shared in the form of friendships and love is happiness multiplied.

Confused about life, your not alone and i am sure i am not alone either. this isnt a problem because once you realize like me , that life is neither a problem to be solved nor a game to be won.
if you are too intent on making pieces of a nonexistent puzzle fit, you miss out on the real fun. the heaviness of success chasing can be replaced when you recognize that the only rules and limits are those we set ourselves. ( yes its that simply)

So be bold and dont worry about what people think, like i am doing now.

now to finish on a poem i like very much it goes like this:

have you ever watched kids
on a merry go round?

or listen to the rain
slapping on the ground?

ever followed a butterfly`s erratic flight?
or gazed at the sun into the fadiing night?

you better slow down.
dont dance so fast.

time is short.
the music wont last.

do you run through each day
on the fly?

when you ask: how are you?
do you hear the reply?

when the day is done,
do you lie in your bed

with the next hundred chores
running throught your head?

you`d better slow down.
dont dance so fast.

time is short.
the music wont last.

ever told your child
we`ll do it tommorrow?

and in your haste,
not see the sorrow?

ever lost touch,
let a good friendship die

cause you never had the time
to call and say"hi"?

you better slow down.
dont dance so fast.

time is short
the music wont last.

when you run so fast to get somewhere
you miss half the fun of getting there.

when you worry and hurry through your day,
it is like an unopened gift throwen away.

Life is not a race.
do take it slower.

hear the music
before the song is over...

i hope you like this poem as much as i do, yes i do like poems.

postpartum depression: Its normal

why am i i depressed? (we all have been depressed at some stage)
its a good question with a good answer, to much free time is no more than self doubt and assorted mental tail chasing. subtracting the bad does not create the good.

in the begining fantasies have been enough and there nothing wrong with this, go nuts and live your dreams. this is not selfish it is critical to stop repressing yourself and get out of the postponement habit.

be it 2 weeks or 3 weeks or three years later , when you wont be able to drink your favourite drink or do the the same routine. self- criticism and existential panic attacks start around this time.

what am i 70 no 17 and i know i have had many hardships that i will be revealing in other posts this is to talk about depression, if i have the courage to talk about it so be it in my next blog i will so dont look at me and think i am to young to think like this , i am seeing reality and fighting even the dark emotional sides of the mind (aka my mind) not running from it but understanding it.

all i can say is dont freak out it happens to everyone even the best people you look up to idols, parents and family they just have a good way hiding it like i have done for so long.

but theres sadly more Social Isolation

here are a few things that may be famliar to some or many, bad coffee and complaining, gossips,stupid emails, and poeple wasting your time,stupid comments, and meeting up with people that accomplish nothing but kill a few hours with a few laughs, am i thinking to hard into this matter maybe...

dont be afraid of the existential or social challenges, freedom is enough to keep things interesting at all times. dont do the same as rest cause it will just kill you over and over again, get out of the medicore society living.

once basics are learned it becoems clear, dont fret the greatest rewards are yet to come.

"people say that we are seeking is a meaning for life. i dont think this is what we are really seeking. i think what we`re seeking is an experience of being alive"

i love this quote and this is one you could say i keep very close to my heart i am always looking for a way to live more but have gotten hurt, wait Paul get back on track sorry all.

any way what the hell should i do with my life? like everyone we all have frightening moments of doubt. you know what i say when this comes you fight it if you dont you will fall, and may never get up, i battled with great hardship and effort and made it, and i am a strongner person.

common doubts : is this is good as it gets, am i doing this to free more time and lead a better life, or am i just being lazy, am i really successful or just kidding myself, have i lowered my standards to settle for 2nd best and finally why am i not happy? i can do anything and i am still not happy do i even deserve this?

ah the mind and the emotions fasinate me, but most of this can be overcome as soon as we recognize it for what it really is outdated, using the more is better and the money as success mind sets that got all of us some point in trouble.

these doubts invade the mind when nothing else fills it (aka a sunday what i am doing now lol)

think of a time that made you feel 100 percent alive and undistracted ( for me it was one of my national grading 300 people staring at me i had no fear, i was in the zone) in the zone.

chances are it was when you were completly focused in the moment on something external, someone or something else.

lacking focus, the mind turns it self inwards and creates problems to solve, even if the problems are unimportant. but i will tell you something i have used if you find a focus a passion something you love with every ounce of your heart that seems impossible and forces you to grow, these doubts disappear.

before you ask yes my mind is like a library full of alot of stuff

Fear

Usually, what we most fear doing is what we most need to do. That phone call,that conversation or not saying something important to someone that really meant something to you, whatever the action might be, it is fear of the unkown outcomes that prevents us from doing what we need to do.

i will say again "What we fear doing most usually what we most need to do".

A person success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he/she is willing to have.

i try everyday to resolve a fear and become a better person each day.

if i let fear get in the way i would of never been able to do the most things i love, i can tell yous all now i have conquered my fears and in doing so i am enjoying life.

fear is not going to stop me doing the things i want to do and also not gonna stop me saying things people may fine weird or stupid, where in this world did all the compassion and telling someone how much they mean to them go! i dont know but i am a small but eager light shining bright, and i will not let my past hunt me i will admit there has been times in my life i should of said or done something, but never did.

i was always that guy in the corner going someone should do something, now a days i am that guy not scared to say what i need to say to anyone!

fear has stopped me doing some things i should of done, but i have learned from this mistake.

so i tell you all now what are you waiting for?

if you cannot answer this without resorting to: ah to busy, havent enough time, its hard for me etc

the answer is simple! you`re afraid just like the rest of the world.

Put it in these terms measure the cost of inaction, realize the unlikelihood and develop a most inportant habit that i have and those who excel and enjoy doing so :ACTION!

Criticism

Doing anything remotely interesting anything a tall will bring CRITICISM. attempting to do anything in life big of small wil bring dreaded armies of detractors and saboteurs.

my friends this is perfectly fine!

Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of medicority. you`ll avoid the tough decisions, you`ll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted . some people think stakes are to high and it is often we give in to people,

So be critized for doing small (safe) things or be critized doing really big things that you are passionate about!

We merely dont see it but this is a choice ,Criticism will come either way.

But i am telling yous all now let the critics critize.

reason why i am talking about this topic is because it starts of at a gym and goes into a sona, where it is only polite to talk, so i got talking to many of people young and old and you know what they all said about their pasts regret, i asked why cause they listen to their mates (critics), someone i will not say wanted to do something x(will not say what) but didnt do it because his cool group of mates saw it as stupid and waste of time , so he fell away now he regrets it and is to old to do it, very sad indeed he told me you know what was the biggest waste of time was Paul, i reply what? " biggest waste of time was getting drunk every weekend with mates and doing same thing over and over and nothing to show for it, i wasted money and health on it, i could of been doing far better things but i didnt cause i was scared for being judged"

This unsettled me i know excactly what he means and i admit i cant describe things but staring in his eyes i knew he wasted years cause he lived in the Medicore society,

He said to me you do what you went to do and dont let anyone stop you. i will tell everyone now who reads this

I will make something of myself regardless of who knows me and will live lifes moments , yous can all do the same old thing and have nothing to show for it, but not me i will move one and strive, yes laugh excactly (critics)

But quess what i am now not bothering my time with timewasters , yes this catergory falls under friends.
2010 i have met new people and turns out i can call them true friends over old friends, yes i have sorted out who excactly are time wasters and users of me and get a kick annoying or just like to take me down to their levels well not anymore!

so any way i have sorted out true friends , and looks like a handful , but quess what these handful of people are just like me willing to express compassion and shine, stand out from the medicore and strive and do what they love, and i like to thank you all!

i will not waste my time on time wasters and yous will soon all know excactly who you all are when i wont take shit from you.
life is to short to live small