postpartum depression: Its normal

why am i i depressed? (we all have been depressed at some stage)
its a good question with a good answer, to much free time is no more than self doubt and assorted mental tail chasing. subtracting the bad does not create the good.

in the begining fantasies have been enough and there nothing wrong with this, go nuts and live your dreams. this is not selfish it is critical to stop repressing yourself and get out of the postponement habit.

be it 2 weeks or 3 weeks or three years later , when you wont be able to drink your favourite drink or do the the same routine. self- criticism and existential panic attacks start around this time.

what am i 70 no 17 and i know i have had many hardships that i will be revealing in other posts this is to talk about depression, if i have the courage to talk about it so be it in my next blog i will so dont look at me and think i am to young to think like this , i am seeing reality and fighting even the dark emotional sides of the mind (aka my mind) not running from it but understanding it.

all i can say is dont freak out it happens to everyone even the best people you look up to idols, parents and family they just have a good way hiding it like i have done for so long.

but theres sadly more Social Isolation

here are a few things that may be famliar to some or many, bad coffee and complaining, gossips,stupid emails, and poeple wasting your time,stupid comments, and meeting up with people that accomplish nothing but kill a few hours with a few laughs, am i thinking to hard into this matter maybe...

dont be afraid of the existential or social challenges, freedom is enough to keep things interesting at all times. dont do the same as rest cause it will just kill you over and over again, get out of the medicore society living.

once basics are learned it becoems clear, dont fret the greatest rewards are yet to come.

"people say that we are seeking is a meaning for life. i dont think this is what we are really seeking. i think what we`re seeking is an experience of being alive"

i love this quote and this is one you could say i keep very close to my heart i am always looking for a way to live more but have gotten hurt, wait Paul get back on track sorry all.

any way what the hell should i do with my life? like everyone we all have frightening moments of doubt. you know what i say when this comes you fight it if you dont you will fall, and may never get up, i battled with great hardship and effort and made it, and i am a strongner person.

common doubts : is this is good as it gets, am i doing this to free more time and lead a better life, or am i just being lazy, am i really successful or just kidding myself, have i lowered my standards to settle for 2nd best and finally why am i not happy? i can do anything and i am still not happy do i even deserve this?

ah the mind and the emotions fasinate me, but most of this can be overcome as soon as we recognize it for what it really is outdated, using the more is better and the money as success mind sets that got all of us some point in trouble.

these doubts invade the mind when nothing else fills it (aka a sunday what i am doing now lol)

think of a time that made you feel 100 percent alive and undistracted ( for me it was one of my national grading 300 people staring at me i had no fear, i was in the zone) in the zone.

chances are it was when you were completly focused in the moment on something external, someone or something else.

lacking focus, the mind turns it self inwards and creates problems to solve, even if the problems are unimportant. but i will tell you something i have used if you find a focus a passion something you love with every ounce of your heart that seems impossible and forces you to grow, these doubts disappear.

before you ask yes my mind is like a library full of alot of stuff